Paid off the student loan - Kicked Aunt Sallie out!

After my divorce nearly 15 years ago I went back to college. I was working full time, struggling to get a diagnosis for my autistic son and just trying to get by as a single mom. It took me nearly six years to get an associates and then a bachelors degree. I graduated with honors close to ten years ago and yesterday I made my final payment of about $200 on my school loans and paid it off. WOOT!

I really thought I would have paid these loans off long ago. I borrowed roughly $6,000 and my payments were only about $50 a month. When you take out these loans in college, the expectation is that you will be a professional making booocooo bucks and repayment will be a breeze. Well, it's not. I was in deferment for over a year after a layoff and did not go into a high paying profession. I have a BFA.

Many students borrow ten times as much as I did and I don't know how on earth they can possibly make those $600 payments. Maybe its because I was an older student with more responsibilities and being house poor, etc. that made it such a struggle.... but at least I knew what I wanted to go for a degree in when I started. I pretty much needed to go back to school in order to work in the same field I did before mommy-tracking. Unfortunately, now many jobs like mine are going to India and I may need to return to school in my 50s for who knows what. I sure hope not.

Now my daughter is in her second year of college and has no debt thanks to going to junior college entirely on scholarships. She did not get a Pell grant this year, but was able to get a job at school and is trying to save up for next year when she will be going to an out of state university for her third and fourth year. The field she is going into is very small and requires a masters degree. She will be able to get the masters in state, thankfully. We've got the FAFSA in and some scholarship applications. Unfortunately, we won't know the results until about June. She will probably end up taking loans to get through school as I have no savings for that and her father is totally out of the picture.

I wish I could help her, but my limited funds are tied up in this house and my retirement fund. It is better for her to take responsibility for her own future and borrow for school as needed than for me to have to live on Alpo during my retirement. She's known for years that I will not take out loans for her college so has no expectations for me to pay for her college. I will send her care packages and money when I can though. She will always be my princess.

Yes, sometimes I feel a bit guilty because I can't give my kids what their friends have but then I get over it pretty quickly. My life is complicated and expensive. I live frugally, and I'm still broke. I am trying hard to save in my 401k my measly 529 for my son. I don't expect him to have the same scholarship opportunities as his sister, and he will most likely need vocational training after high school. Also, you can't borrow money to retire on and I won't be anywhere near saving the half million dollars I will need to retire on... I'm not even one-tenth of the way there and you can't borrow money for living expenses during retirement... and Kats don't eat Alpo!

The best I can hope for is that I pay off my home and avoid a mortgage when I'm retired and that my kids will both be self-supporting. Unfortunately, my son will probably always be dependent on me and his sister to some degree. We'll all make it through fine though, I'm sure.